A reminder: life hangs by a thread

"When you hide your face, they are dismayed;
when you take away their breath, they die
and return to their dust."
Psalm 104:29

It was about 11pm last Wednesday evening (22nd July) and my wife and I had been driving for just under 4 hours. We were traveling back from Alton Towers and were 20 minutes from home on an unlit stretch of the A22. It was very dark, wet, narrow, and overtaking wasn't really feasible. We were traveling at 50 to 60 mph, as was the oncoming traffic.

As we drove past a lorry traveling in the other direction, a pair of headlights suddenly pierced our vision. They stared us directly in the face, on our side of the road, and just a few meters in front. A car stuck behind the lorry had embarked on an overtaking maneuver purely based on blind faith; threatening a head-on collision at over 100mph.

It was like the driver had made an insane life or death gamble and got it completely wrong. All to save a few minutes.

Lynsey slammed on the brakes and in a panic started swerving left and right (but there was nowhere to go). I have no idea how we made it past, but it was very, very close. If we had been traveling slightly faster, or were slightly closer... if Lynsey had reacted just a fraction later, the cars would have impacted on the driver's side of each bonnet. Lynsey would have been crushed. The two cars probably would have spun, sending the other car under the lorry (involving death, cripplement or general pain and manglement).

Incidents like these remind you that life hangs by a thread and you're totally in the hands of God. Yesterday my mum remembered that just a year or so back my little brother Andy had nearly drowned in a rip tide off the coast of South Africa (and made the local headlines!). When I was 14, one of my best friends simply dropped dead, without warning, in his neighbours back yard.

We assume we'll live to be all old and wrinkled, but the truth is life can end like the flick of a switch – completely unexpectedly and in an instant. No one knows when their time is up.

The infectious nature of sin

"A little yeast works through the whole batch of dough."
Galations 5:9

Musing on the infectious nature of sin, are we ever really aware of how much our actions are reproduced in others? Like shouting in a valley, the noise travels forward, bouncing from wall to wall as it goes. Our sin echos through our friends, family, co-workers, and then onto complete strangers.

Or perhaps it's like a stack of dominoes. As one falls, it makes a contact with the next, causing that one to topple over. The chain continues on and on.

It's like we're so focused on ourselves that we don't notice the outward effect of sin. We think it's our struggle, our own fight, and it starts and ends with us. In reality, it's not just ourselves we're fighting for, but the repercussion of struggles and actions that emanate.

Could the reverse also be true? Could the man who rigorously pursues God, resists evil and sets about the Lord's work, infectiously strike up similar actions and reactions in those around him?

Premature birth?

I've been thinking for a while that it's quite possible to be too eager to see people 'converted'; to pray the sinners payer and chalk them on the list of souls won for Christ. Like a premature birth, a person who converts without experiencing the full conviction of sin, or considering the cost of following Christ, produces a weak and vulnerable baby.

"Possibly, much of the flimsy piety of the present day arises from the ease with which men attain to peace and joy in these evangelistic days... Too many think lightly of sin, and therefore think lightly of the Saviour. He who has stood before his God, convicted and condemned, with the rope about his neck, is the man to weep for joy when he is pardoned, to hate evil with which has been forgiven him, and to live to the honour of the Redeemer by whose blood he has been cleansed."
Charles Spurgeon, 1890, Autobiography

Spurgeon's methods for determining salvation were strict, and when true salvation in a person's life was not evident, they were posted in the churches List of Refusals – people to be revisited later on. As his biography states "He truly believed in hell, and he recognised the awful responsibility should he give some person cause to believe he was saved if there was no evidence that it was so."

The following are three marks of true conversion which Spurgeon's church looked for when dealing with a person tesifying that they had come to know Christ:

One, had the person, knowing himself to be a sinner and unable to do anything toward saving himself, gone to God, begging for mercy, and had entirely trusted his soul to Christ, believing in the saving merit of His death upon the cross? [This individual experience of the soul with God was the unalterable and basic necessity, and without it there was no recognition of the person as truly converted.]

Two, had the person entered into newness of life, experiencing a change of affections, victory over sins, a love for the Word of God, and a desire to win others to Christ?

Three, did he or she possess a basic understanding of the doctrines of grace, recognising that salvation did not begin with himself or his own will, but with God's choice and God's action, and that God, who saved him, would keep him through time and through eternity?

From Spurgeon: A New Biography by Arnold Dallimore, p81.

Calvinism vs Arminianism... meh!

"If I am asked what is my creed, I reply, "It is Jesus Christ" ... Jesus, who is the sum and substance of the Gospel, who is in Himself all theology, the incarnation of every precious truth, the all-glorious personal embodiment of the way, the truth and the life."
Charles H. Spurgeon

I like that. Although it's definitely good to have opinions and give things careful thought, mind-blowing subjects like predestination should never divide us. Are you a Calvinist or an Armenian? Surely the answer is neither. Neither of those two names are in the Bible. The name "Christ" is though. So maybe that's a good name to be associated with.

Interesting, I recently learnt that Jacobus Arminius was John Calvin's son-in-law, and considered Calvin's teachings to be the greatest outside of the New Testament. So where's the big divide?

A definition of success

"Success is knowing God's will for your life and setting out to do what God has called you to do. Success is not the measure of accolades, the measure of other people's opinions; but it's that inner knowing that you have found God's purpose, fulfilling it in your daily life."

Jack Shaw in the "Let My People Think" podcast by Ravi Zacharias.

Little and Often

The pastor of my church, Graham Marsh, preached yesterday on working in '15 minutes of inconvenience' into everyday. Little tiny acts of kindness, such as buying a Big Issue, or helping someone out in a way people wouldn't normally think to do. Just random little things that take a little bit of time, effort and inconvenience.

I honestly think that God dropped that into my mind about 8 years ago, but stupidly I just thought about it and never actually did it. I thought of carrying £2 coins in my bag to give to homeless people when they asked for change. I know that people think they'll just waist it on alcohol, but even if they do, at least you've expressed a tiny fraction of God's heart and grace towards them.

It's a brilliant idea when you think about it. Small acts of kindness on a day-to-day basis over the course of your life adds up to a lot of works.

"For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me... I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me."
Matthew 25:35-40

Sin after salvation

The gospel is very good news because it tells us that everything's been put on Jesus. Every one of our sins – past, present and future – has been laid on him. The Christian stands before God with the righteousness and purity of Christ. There's not a spot of guilt or shame, but absolute holiness. And that's our position before God at this very minute.

But we still sin though right? Romans 7 confirms this. And we're still totally righteous before God in-spite of this. Romans 8:1 (the very next verse) confirms this.

But lets be honest... sin still has an effect on us.

I've been churning this over in my mind for the last couple of years, about the nature of sin. And I've started to think that maybe the Christian life is like climbing a mountain. When you enter into relationship with God it's like you're at the bottom; you've placed one foot on the beginning of the path.

At this point, you can see the immediate and most obvious sin that surrounds your life. As you mature and travel further up the path, your perspective changes. You're perspective becomes increasing closer to God's perspective. Interestingly, I've heard wisdom described as "thinking God's thoughts after Him".

As you look back over your life, more and more of your sin comes into view. Old things that you never previously considered now look ugly. Here, in this new position, the nature of sin is different. Instead of drowning in sin, it's now takes the form of a stumbling block.



The stumbling block can cause you to slip and lose ground already trodden. It can slow your momentum or completely halt your progress. Could it be that certain repeated sins completely halt the depth of your relationship with God? You're still in the same place (justified and on the path), but the ground beneath your feet ceases to increase.

It's good to have an opinion, even if you're wrong

Whatever the subject matter (but especially within Christianity), it's good to have an opinion. An opinion forms something solid that you can stand on, push against, or launch off.

Even if it's actually wrong, you have created something that can be realigned, repositioned or completely converted further down the line.

People who have no opinion aren't 'open-minded'. Their thoughts are nothingness; non-existent. It's like grasping the air.

Surely there's more hope for the gospel to take root in the man that hates God than the man that expresses no real thought. He simply says "that's nice".

––––––

Similar blog: Somewhere in the middle

Out of Focus

"Look to Me and be saved, all the ends of the earth!
For I am God, and there is no other."
Isaiah 45:22

Here's an excerpt from Spurgeon's biography – the preach that brought about Spurgeon's conversion:

"It says 'look'. Now lookin' don't take a deal of pain. It ain't liftin' your foot or your finger; it's just 'look'. Well a man needn't go to college to learn to look. You may be the biggest fool, and yet you can look. A man needn't be worth a thousand a year to look. Anyone can look; even a child can look... look to Christ. The text says 'look unto Me'."

One of the things that occurred to me when reading this is that you can only look at one thing at a time. Everything else has to move out of focus and out of view. To look to God means you have to stop looking at yourself, and all your little idols.

Pretty Pious Words

A line from a biography of Spurgeon:

" I can readily tell when a brother is praying, or when he is only performing, or playing at prayer... Oh for a living groan! One sigh of the soul has more power in it than half an hour's recitation of pretty pious words."

It occurred to me that a good portion of my prayers are just 'head' prayers. I know what I should be praying and the sorts of things I should say. But I was thinking that that isn't very real.

Prayer has to come from the inner man. It has to have the full weight of your heart and soul behind it. Your gut needs to ache within you as you express the burden God's placed on your heart. Tired expressions, 'performance prayers' and formulaic routine surely can't have much weight. God must like a bit of passion from us! Girrrr!

Is God outside of Time? (Part 1)

This is one of my more random thoughts. Definitely not a major theological issue. More "sam-ology" than theology, but one which fascinates me.

"With the Lord a day is like a thousand years,
and a thousand years are like a day."
2 Peter 3:8

"I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last,
the Beginning and the End."
Revelation 22:13

"I am God, and there is none like me, declaring the end from the beginning and from ancient times things not yet done"
Isaiah 46:9-12

"the One ... who inhabits eternity"
Isaiah 57:15

Could it be that God is completely separate from time? Is it possible that He isn't on a timeline; that he views future events with the exact same precision and clarity as He would view present and past events? Here's and illustration of what I mean...


view large

We're on the timeline in 2009. We can make vague predictions about what might happen in the future, but really, we haven't got a clue. We can also remember past events in our lifetime. We have records of history which give us some sort of a view of things that occurred further back.

But if God isn't bound by this timeline, like we are, then maybe He can see any future point in time exactly as He sees the present day. Over 25% of the Bible is prophecy, referring to future events. And the prophecies occur with stunning accuracy.

One view would be that God moulds and shapes events to fulfill His previous prophecies. The other would be that He knew from the beginning the exact unfolding of events. He knew before the creation of the Earth every thought in your head, every inclination of your heart, the movement of every atom in the universe.

This would make a lot of sense for a Sovereign God. He's totally in control, and views everything – past, present and future – with a perfect clarity.

A great act of faith is a boring testimony

So many of the Christians in my church and life group have been brought up in Christian homes, and known God from a very young age. Myself included. And it's awesome, plan A for your life. But they always seem to struggle with having a 'boring testimony'.

You hear all the stories of heroine addicts, the sexually promiscuous, and criminals, and you can't help but think that they know God in a way that you don't. They've experienced life without God, tasted all the world has to offer, and then came to Christ. They've got this massive contrast of experience.

We, on the other hand, haven't.

But that leads me to this whole idea of faith. Surely the biggest act of faith for the life-long Christian is to take someone else's word for it. To simply believe God, without experiencing those things for ourselves. It comes back to this verse:

"blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."
John 20:29

That's what I think faith looks like for us.

Over-confidence in a 3 lb brain

I'm thinking that an awful lot of people exert far more confidence in the three-pound brain that sits between their ears than they really should. Watching videos such as Powers Of 10 or The Awe Factor of God completely blows my mind.

Discovering how incredibly vast the universe is makes me immediately think how incredibly small we are. The earth isn't even a fleck of dust. We are nothing. It really gives a stark reminder of our insignificance and smallness.

If science has lead to these sorts of discoveries, why hasn't it lead to a greater humility? Why do you get Richard Dawkins trying to convince the world God doesn't exist when the vastness and the age of the universe is completely beyond comprehension? Makes me think that on some levels, the smarter you get, the stupider you get.

Re-pent

I heard Rob Rufus a while back say a comment in one of his preaches, and the thought has stuck with me for quite a while. And it's this:

To repent is a very positive thing. The 'pent' part of the word means 'highest'. For example, a pent-house is the highest apartment in a building. So to re-pent means 'to go back to the highest way'. To me that's a very simple and positive concept. So often we think of it as getting on your knees, begging for mercy, hoping that we'll be spared from God's wrath!

This concept is re-inforced by a quote I just read by C.S. Lewis:

"[Repentance] is not something that God demands of you before He will take you back and which He could let you off if He chose; it is simply a description of what going back is like."

How do you know you are saved?

This is the classic question the now retired founder of my church Don Smith used to drill us with. And as long as you knew Romans 10:9-10 you were safe! But this has got to be one of the most important questions to ask. I've been at my current church for 18 years, and one thing I can definitely say is that not everyone who believes they are a Christian is one.

Faith is tested over time through the course of life. Many people start well, hit a snag, and then drift off into the abyss. As Matthew 13:21 says "since he has no root, he lasts only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, he quickly falls away." Being a Christian isn't easy.

"small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life,
and only a few find it."
Matthew 7:14

I never want to sow seeds of doubt about whether or not you are saved. But sometimes it's just not clear. If certain people I know died today, I would be left wondering whether or not they had gone to Hell, even though they professed to be Christians. And I hate that. As Paul said in Acts 26:20 "I preached that they should repent and turn to God and prove their repentance by their deeds."

I would totally stress the need to prove your salvation to yourself and everyone around you. To make it abundantly clear that you are what you say you are. A few additional verses which I feel support this viewpoint:

"Faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead."
James 2:17

"Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling."
Philippians 2:12

"Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure."
2 Peter 1:10

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sinners prayer is nowhere in the bible.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Francis Chan (a church pastor in California) pointed this out in a preach, and I found it quite provoking. Nowhere in the bible do you see a one paragraph prayer that makes you a Christian. Not that the sinners prayer is essentially bad, definitely not if you truly mean every word you pray. But really, it's a very very condensed summary of a process that can take months or years.

So what would you find if you just read the bible and let it speak for itself? I've done my best to collate all the verses that relate to salvation. In doing this, they seem to suggest a certain process:

believe in Jesus > realise you are a sinner in danger of Hell > repent > be baptised > regeneration & new life.

In this, repentance seems to be the clear point of salvation. But I would argue that what follows (baptism and regeneration) are key evidences of salvation. When these are missing you get either carnal or counterfeit Christians. There's no real proof and a lot of uncertainty.

Below are the verses. This takes the form of a handout which I produced for one of my life group talks... hope it's useful!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. Believe in Jesus Christ

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved."
Romans 10:9-10

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."
John 3:16

By believing in Jesus, you are not merely believing that he existed, but you are believing in everything he said and did. This includes believing that:

He is the Son of God (Mark 14:61-64, John 8:58-59, John 10:30-33, John 14:8-9)

He came from Heaven (John 6:38, 41-42, 60, 66; John 16:28)

He was sinless (John 8:46)

He is the only way to heaven (John 14:6, John 11:25)

He was crucified on a cross (Matt 27: 32-66)

On the cross he paid the penalty for all your sins (past present and future), dying in your place and purchasing salvation. (1 Peter 3:18, Hebrews 10:12, Romans 3:25-26, Romans 5:19)

Three days after his death, he resurrected (Matt 28: 1-10)

Today he is seated on a Throne in Heaven, where he is the King of Kings and Lord of Lords (Philippians 2:9-11, Revelation 19:16, Hebrews 12:2)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2. Realise you are a sinner, in danger of Hell

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"There is no one righteous, not even one"
Romans 3:10

"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God"
Romans 3:23

"But unless you repent, you too will all perish"
Luke 13:3

"For the wages of sin is death"
Romans 6:23

"Man is destined to die once, and after that to face judgment"
Hebrews 9:27

"As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins"
Ephesians 2:1

"They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts."
Ephesians 4:18

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

3. Repent

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Jesus went into Galilee, proclaiming the good news of God. "The time has come," he said. "The kingdom of God is near. Repent and believe the good news!"
Mark 1: 14-15

"Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord"
Acts 3:19

"I have declared to both Jews and Greeks that they must turn to God in repentance and have faith in our Lord Jesus."
Acts 20:21

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

4. Be Baptised

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Peter replied, "Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins" ... those who accepted his message were baptized, and about three thousand were added to their number that day."
Acts 2:38

"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."
Matthew 28:19-20

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

3. Regeneration and New Life

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"
2 Corinthians 5:17

"Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him."
John 7:38

"By their fruit you will recognize them... a good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire."
Matthew 7: 16-20

Visions Beyond The Veil

H.A. Baker

I've been reading this book Visions Beyond The Veil and it's absolutely incredible. It's all about God's revelation of Heaven and Hell to a group of children, mostly street beggars and orphans, living in the Yunan Province, China.

The visions are unbelievably detailed. They were given to little children who had little or no knowledge of the bible, but yet every detail is consistent with it. Even more amazing is that their experience's are parallel with other books I've read which detail first-hand accounts of Heaven and Hell. These were accounts of people who were brought back to life minutes or hours after their death. (See The Final Frontier, Beyond The Final Frontier (both by Dr Richard Kent); and 90 Minutes In Heaven, by Don Piper).

Reading this I find myself a little jealous of their amazing experiences. But forget me. It almost seems that God specifically chooses to reveal himself to those who are most hungry, or most in need. And I'm blessed just by reading it. And it's blatantly an act of faith. Could it be that you're more blessed by believing, having not received any amazing visions?:

Then Jesus told him, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."
John 20:29

Earn all you can; save all you can; give all you can.

John Wesley

The thing that makes this quote really punch out is that it has the weight of his whole life behind it. He believed it and live it. It wasn't just a throw-away comment.

I really like this quote. It's incredibly challenging, and it's awesome because when you put your money where your mouth is, it's a sign that you truly believe.

I guess my immediate reaction is one of reservation to the first point, 'earn all you can'. As a freelance designer, all the dangers spring to mind: 1. the temptation to over-charge clients. 2. working long hours, neglecting your wife 3. a lot of my design work is service to various churches. And in that you're starving one hand to feed the other.

Brilliant quote though.

You have to fight for everything

A thought which has been lingering with me for a while is that the work vs church vs social life vs wifey-time vs spending-time-with-God balance is one which is in constant conflict. And the reason for this is as follows:

"Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat of it ... by the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground."
Genesis 3: 17-19

It's the dreaded Genesis 3 curse! Everything beneath you is cursed. Literally everything you try to do is like pushing a boulder up a hill. It's really hard work; one slip and it rolls back and crushes you.

If you could identify the biggest threats to your walk with God, busyness would definitely be at the top of mine. But life is busy, basically, because it's constant toil. And the reason it's toil is because God made it that way when we sinned.

But it must be fair to say that God knew that, and he decided to do it anyway.

So there must be some sort of purpose to this constant struggle, and the need to fight for quiet times, prayer, reading etc. Perhaps to reveal our true priorities, to separate the wheat from the chaff, and those that really love God.

hmmmm..... just a thought.

Short term pleasure, long term pain

That's the way of the world. It's all about fleeting moments of happiness. But if you really genuinely are convinced that life ends with death, it makes perfect sense.

If you're life could be extinguished at any moment, then you may as well seek out instant pleasure and disregard the long-term consequences. From this perspective, there is no real moral law. Nothing you do, whether good or bad, will be remembered in a few generations. And all your actions can be justified by one statement: 'survival of the fittest'.

So why don't most people live like this? Why aren't more people more evil than they already are? Either we're lazy, far too worried about what other people think, or we have this built-in sense of God looming over our heads. Probably a mix of all three.

Nothing is more surprising than the passing of time.

People are always surprised at how quickly time flys by; and to the extent that 'time' almost seems unnatural. You look back at an old photo, and you can't believe that it was ten years ago.

I read a CS Lewis quote that said it's like a fish constantly being surprised by the wetness of water. The only possible reason for this constant, repetitive surprise is that it was never meant to be part of our existence. It's like a massive clue that we were created for eternity. We weren't meant to age, or have our bodies slowly ravaged by the toils of life.

"He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end."
Ecclesiastes 3:11

I love this verse. In the first instance it states that we have this innate sense of eternity, and in the second it declares that we're simply unable to comprehend how the universe came into existence. Seems to have massive implications on theories like evolution and the big bang. It's simply beyond our intelligence to understand, no matter how factual we present our theories.

The things you used to own, now they own you.

Chuck Palahniuk

The words of 1 Timothy 6 v8 really strike a chord with me: "if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that." Interesting that if you go into the original language used, by clothing it literally means 'one set of clothes'. The biblical standard for contentment is very very low. You should have something to eat, and a set of clothes to wear.

This quote in the Fight Club book by Chuck Palahniuk put an extra spin on it for me. And I think it's really true. The more junk you buy, the more baggage you're carrying. And most of these things (eg guitars, motorbikes, cars etc) are liabilities – they consistently taking money out of your account. There's got to be a great amount of freedom in not owning much. For one, if you want to go somewhere, you haven't got a lot to carry.

A Theory on Fat

I've just been struck by a thought I've never had before. And it's this – literally everything you do should be to the glory of God; and literally everything he created was for his glory.

Lately I've been praying for God to make me less vain. It's this dumb little idol I have, and one I really struggle to shift. Basically, I just want to be a bit skinner and a bit more athletic than my current frame. Nothing wrong with that, I just hate the way it dominates my thinking sometimes. I blame TV. So here's a theory. What's my heart attitude? I'm blatantly on some self-glorifying mission to look good.

But if everything should be done for God's glory, then every area of your life is included: films you watch, sports you play, language you use, your finances, how you work your job, whether or not you have a string of ex-girlfriends etc etc. And if everything has been created for God's glory then, when we see athletic ability, an amazing talent or beauty (in whatever form), it should lead us to worship God.

I find that incredibly liberating. Ultimately, you can be doing the exact same thing: going to the gym and watching your diet. But realising that it's God's body (not yours) and seeking to honour him by being a good steward of it totally takes the focus off yourself.

"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do,
do it all for the glory of God."
1 Corinthians 10:31

I don't know why that never occurred to me before.

O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear,All because we do not carryEverything to God in prayer

These lyrics came up in the book 90 Minutes in Heaven where a guy gets horribly, brutally mangled in a head-on car crash with a lorry. He was pronounced dead on the scene of the accident. A hour and a half later, some Christian pastor prays for him (despite his better sense). The guy comes back to life, his internal organs miraculously healed.

In his death he experiences Heaven (and writes all about it – very interesting). But on his return he is in excruciating pain, constantly, for years. I guess I'm a bit of a Calvinist, but it's just scary how much pain God will let you endure. It's like he gives you a lot more leeway than you'd like to think. He knows exactly what you can cope with, and let's you cope with it. If it serves towards his will and for your good, you'll go through it. Brutal!!

These lyrics are from the song What A Friend We Have In Jesus which I personally think is a bit of a cheesy Christian tune. But the lyrics are awesome. Especially when you put it on the backdrop of this guys life. It's almost like pain and suffering are devices of grace designed to drive us back to him.

Nothing lasts forever, except you and me.

Biffy Clyro

We're all heading in the same direction: we're all going in the ground. I've just finished reading the biography of John Wesley (John Wesley: A Biography by Stephen Tomkins). As you read his bio, it's like you're burning through years of his life as you turn each page. And the obvious conclusion is death.

It took me about a week to read that book, to read his life's story. You leave with the distinct impression that life is short, even though he lived to almost 90. It's like you blink, and you're 10 years older. Blink again and I'll be old. When life is gone, we may realise that much of our lives was a waste of time.

The thing that blew me away about John Wesley was his incredible day-to-day diligence. He sustained it throughout his entire life and achieved a phenomenal amount. Has to be said that the way he treated his wife was inexcusable, and quite shocking (if the bio paints him fairly). Thank God for grace. But then it's nice to know Wesley was human. Must have sucked for Molly though!