Two levels of belief

When you think about it, it seems there's two levels of trusting and believing God, particularly regarding sin and our proclivity towards idolatry. At the first level, you understand that God has set certain things off limits and he says 'no'. But you still desire it, you're very much tempted, and you struggle and strive to be obedient. You grit your teeth and you desperately want to obey God, but the thing still looks good. It still has a certain power over you. In one sense, you strive to be obedient without really believing. You don't fully trust God, but you know he should be obeyed.

The second level is when you genuinely start to believe and trust. When God says a certain thing is bad, and not what he intended, the thing itself looks tainted. When you truly grasp that God is the great designer, you know that nothing can work outside his design. Everything else leads to death. Opposing God has the stench of a rotting corpse.

In this sense your believing and trusting changes your perceptions and desires. Sin loses it's power as you get closer to God. The way you think really starts to change.

King David's word really start to make sense in Psalm 119:

11  I have stored up your word in my heart,
         that I might not sin against you.
12  Blessed are you, O Lord;
         teach me your statutes!
13  With my lips I declare
         all the rules of your mouth.
14  In the way of your testimonies I delight
         as much as in all riches.
15  I will meditate on your precepts
         and fix my eyes on your ways.
16  I will delight in your statutes;
         I will not forget your word.
...

19  I am a sojourner on the earth;
         hide not your commandments from me!
20  My soul is consumed with longing
         for your rules at all times.
...

34  Give me understanding, that I may keep your law
         and observe it with my whole heart.
35  Lead me in the path of your commandments,
         for I delight in it.
...

77  Let your mercy come to me, that I may live;
         for your law is my delight.
...

92  If your law had not been my delight,
         I would have perished in my affliction.
93  I will never forget your precepts,
         for by them you have given me life.
...

97  Oh how I love your law!
         It is my meditation all the day.
98  Your commandment makes me wiser than my enemies,
         for it is ever with me.
...

174  I long for your salvation, O Lord,
         and your law is my delight.
175  Let my soul live and praise you,
         and let your rules help me.

Nervous Vs Fearful

I've been contemplating lately the fine distinction between being nervous and being fearful. It's easy to confuse the two, but there's a world of difference.

Being fearful means you want to run from situations. You want to run and hide, to take flight and avoid certain trials and challenges. You're afraid of what might happen, how you might perform, and you don't want to embrace the challenge. In fact, you would rather the challenge didn't exist at all.

Being nervous is different. A situation or challenge might be very daunting and you might be very unsure of how you will fare. But many people who are nervous about something are also very brave at the same time. They throw themselves head first into the fire, they put themselves on the line.

Watching shows like X-Factor and The Voice is very interesting from this perspective. Some of those guys get so nervous, but they've willingly embraced it to get a shot at achieving their goals. As Tom Jones kept saying, "being nervous is good. Being nervous means you want to do a good job. If you don't feel nervous, then you're not alive."

It's also interesting watching the Olympics and how many of the athletes talk about being very nervous, but how the nerves sharpen them. They heighten your senses and make you more alert.

In a lot of ways, to actually operate at the peak of your abilities, you have to be nervous and you have to embrace it, and channel it into what you are doing. A lot of what God's called us to do is outside our comfort zones. The work he's got for us requires bravery and courage. The key is embracing the nerves and embracing the challenging, rather than running away and living a fearful life.

"I remember the answer I received when I once said to my venerable grandfather, 'I never have to preach, but that I feel terribly sick, literally sick, I mean, so that I might as well be crossing the Channel', and I asked the dear old man whether he thought I should ever get over that feeling. His answer was, 'Your power will be gone if you do.'"

Charles H. Spurgeon, The Soul Winner, p73-74.

Richard Foster on the Discipline of Study

From 'Celebration of Discipline':

"The purpose of the Spiritual Disciplines is the total transformation of the person. They aim at replacing old destructive habits of thought with new life-giving habits. Nowhere is this purpose more clearly seen than in the Discipline of study."
p78

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things."
Philippians 4:8

"Many Christians remain in bondage to fears and anxieties simply because they do not avail themselves of the Discipline of study ... Jesus made it unmistakably clear that the knowledge of the truth will set us free. 'You will know the truth, and the truth will make you free' (John 8:32). Good feelings will not free us. Ecstatic experiences will not free us. Getting 'high on Jesus' will not free us. Without a knowledge of the truth, we will not be free."
p79

"Jesus, as you remember, reminds us that it is not just the truth but the knowledge of the truth that set us free (John 8:32)."
p82

"As I mentioned earlier, one of the principle objects of our study should be ourselves. We should learn the things that control us. We observe our inner feelings and mood swings. What controls our moods? Why do we like certain people and dislike others? What do these things teach us about ourselves?"
p91