A hope that crushes

Over the last couple of years I've seen a few friends of mine really struggle with health, in ways that are quite gut-wrenching. Your heart just goes out to them.

What I find quite paradoxical is that a lot of the suffering inflicted is actually due to the advances we've made in modern medicine. We are offered hope in what would have been totally hopeless situations a few hundred years ago. But sometimes it's just a flicker of hope, a percentage, a chance. You have to fight, battle and strive. And then cope with the crushing disappointment if it doesn't happen, or the problem is never truly overcome.

Sometimes there's no end, no final resolution, no way of moving on. Because treatment still offers some hope, the battle is never over.

Modern science and medicine is amazing though. But you really have to take the good with the bad. Last month, an emergency c-section probably stopped my wife from dying in childbirth. Incredible. Open heart surgery saved my brothers life. But cancer still claimed my Granddad when he was 58. Some situations work out really well. Others open you up to the torture of hope, met with failed treatment. Sometimes that flicker of hope seems to loom slightly out of reach and never delivers.

God, we need you!

What you want vs what you need

"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness."
James 1:2-3

I've been chewing over these verses for quite a while. They are two verses which imply trials of all shapes and sizes are good for the exercise of your faith. If we didn't have such trials, our faith wouldn't be strengthened.

But what's interesting is if you're a 'good Christian', you've most likely been praying for a resolution. For God to get you out of a situation, to fix things up. And then, when there seems to be no definite answer, we may start questioning why.

Our lack of faith? Perhaps we haven't been praying hard enough, or often enough. Perhaps there's some sort of spiritual battle going on, and we haven't been praying in the right way.

But the first thing these verses say is 'count it all joy'. Obviously our natural reaction is to do the opposite, to get stressed and freak out. Otherwise that particular instruction wouldn't be written. 'Count it all joy' implies the trial is a blessing, and that we have to reconfigure our pattern of thought to acknowledge that.

The verses state that our trials produce steadfastness. Jesus says elsewhere that 'the one who endures to the end will be saved' (Mark 13:13).

It seems steadfastness, perseverance and endurance are what God is developing in our lives. They are qualities of unbelievable importance, and perhaps very central to his work of regeneration. Trials, of shapes and kinds, are the process in which they are developed.

It seems that trails are often the thing we ultimately need, and not always the quick fix answer to prayer we were looking for.

Nervous Vs Fearful

I've been contemplating lately the fine distinction between being nervous and being fearful. It's easy to confuse the two, but there's a world of difference.

Being fearful means you want to run from situations. You want to run and hide, to take flight and avoid certain trials and challenges. You're afraid of what might happen, how you might perform, and you don't want to embrace the challenge. In fact, you would rather the challenge didn't exist at all.

Being nervous is different. A situation or challenge might be very daunting and you might be very unsure of how you will fare. But many people who are nervous about something are also very brave at the same time. They throw themselves head first into the fire, they put themselves on the line.

Watching shows like X-Factor and The Voice is very interesting from this perspective. Some of those guys get so nervous, but they've willingly embraced it to get a shot at achieving their goals. As Tom Jones kept saying, "being nervous is good. Being nervous means you want to do a good job. If you don't feel nervous, then you're not alive."

It's also interesting watching the Olympics and how many of the athletes talk about being very nervous, but how the nerves sharpen them. They heighten your senses and make you more alert.

In a lot of ways, to actually operate at the peak of your abilities, you have to be nervous and you have to embrace it, and channel it into what you are doing. A lot of what God's called us to do is outside our comfort zones. The work he's got for us requires bravery and courage. The key is embracing the nerves and embracing the challenging, rather than running away and living a fearful life.

"I remember the answer I received when I once said to my venerable grandfather, 'I never have to preach, but that I feel terribly sick, literally sick, I mean, so that I might as well be crossing the Channel', and I asked the dear old man whether he thought I should ever get over that feeling. His answer was, 'Your power will be gone if you do.'"

Charles H. Spurgeon, The Soul Winner, p73-74.

Fusion: Purpose & Discomfort

Here's a talk I did at Authentic back in July. Did a dodgy recording of it as well. Always painful listening to yourself, but hey, one must get over oneself.

Fusion_Purpose_Discomfort.pdf

Authentic: Inch By Inch Growth from Sam Arnold on Vimeo.

Twelve Long Years

"And there was a woman who had had a discharge of blood for twelve years, and who had suffered much under many physicians, and had spent all that she had, and was no better but rather grew worse. She had heard the reports about Jesus and came up behind him in the crowd and touched his garment. For she said, "If I touch even his garments, I will be made well." And immediately the flow of blood dried up, and she felt in her body that she was healed of her disease. And Jesus, perceiving in himself that power had gone out from him, immediately turned about in the crowd and said, "Who touched my garments?" And his disciples said to him, "You see the crowd pressing around you, and yet you say, 'Who touched me?'" And he looked around to see who had done it. But the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came in fear and trembling and fell down before him and told him the whole truth. And he said to her, "Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace, and be healed of your disease."
Mark 5:25-34

There are some really interesting points in this story. Some that are just remarkable and stand-out. I imagine Jesus performed a multitude of miracles and only a selection were included in the four gospels. As John says at the end of his account:

"Now there are also many other things that Jesus did. Were every one of them to be written, I suppose that the world itself could not contain the books that would be written."
John 21:25

We might concluded that there were a fair number of miracles to choose from for the gospel writers. I imagine each one was carefully picked for the particular way they shine a light on the nature of Jesus, of faith, healings and miracles.

What's interesting about this story is the woman's level of faith, especially after twelve years of suffering and exhausting every avenue for her healing. I imagine she prayed a lot. I imagine she probably thought God could heal her at any time if he chose. She probably saw those doctors and physicians as channels of God's grace and healing. And yet she suffered, for twelve years, with no answer to prayer, and totally depleted her bank account in the process.

I imagine that most of us would be pretty disheartened at that point. Especially as her disease made her a social outcast. No support group, probably not much community at all. How easy it would be to feel overlooked by God and utterly depressed. Like you had been hung out to dry. When a new preacher rolled into town with a healing ministry, she might well have been tempted to think 'oh no, not again'. More prayers, elevated hope, and yet more disappointments to come.

But her faith is exactly the opposite of what you might expect. Her faith levels were exceedingly high.

"If I touch even his garments, I will be made well."

Unbelievable. Where did that faith come from? And the nature of it. I'm pretty sure that there's nowhere in Scripture that says you have to touch Jesus to get healed. There's plenty of examples where it doesn't happen that way. Not to mention that he was surrounded by a crowd where loads of people were pressing into him. Presumably without getting healed.

Even though her theology probably wasn't spot-on, her faith was off the scale. There isn't even a hint of doubt in her. I'm pretty sure she had taken a massive risk as well. Ceremonially unclean, yet amongst the people, rubbing up and touching them, risking total public humiliation if she was exposed. She hadn't done this as a whim. It was deliberated, planned, premeditated and must have taken a lot of guts.

What's of particular interest is the way she receives her healing from Jesus. She was completely healed by Jesus without him even knowing it until after the event. She hadn't presented her request, spoken, looked him in the eye... nothing. Faith was the key ingredient. And you might say, the only ingredient, in this story.

I can't think of another story where Jesus heals unknowingly. Every other case sees him presented with a sick person before healing. This story really hones in on the power of faith as it literally is the only thing that healed this woman.

All through the four gospels (and the book of Acts) you see faith and healing go hand-in-hand. You seem to hear the same phrase from Jesus over and over, "Your faith has made you well", "Your faith has healed you" and "In accordance to your faith...". In his home town Jesus was unable to do any mighty miracles because of their lack of faith (Mark 6:4-6). Jesus was unable.

It's tempting to steer away from the subject because our unanswered prayer might be diagnosed as a lack of faith. Which is like rubbing salt into the wound of a difficult situation. But let's not forget that this woman struggled for twelve years and had a remarkable faith. Twelve years. That's a long old time. Perhaps her greatest act of faith was continuing to believe, to press on, hope and take new opportunities and risks after twelve long years of suffering. That's pretty impressive.

"Just Stop It" Won't Do

"When you become entangled in habitual sins and addictions, "just stop it" just won't do. You may be able to exert your willpower for a short time, resisting urges to indulge your sinful desires. But trials and temptations always return to find you in a moment of weakness, often in the very moment of weakness where you have fallen to temptation hundreds or thousands of times before. To stand firm in that moment takes more than the chanting of Bible verses, more than willpower, more than disgust at the filthiness of the sin. For the Christian, these moments are tests of faith. Do you really believe God? Do you really trust him?"

Redemption by Mike Wilkerson, p153

The Feeling of Inadequacy

I've been thinking about the feeling of inadequacy that we can often get in many areas of our lives. The feeling of inadequacy, even if that feeling is just a product of our own mind, often seems to produce the very thing itself.

Like if you're not very confident in a certain area, such as social situations, job interviews or a particular skill in your profession, it's tempting to shrink back and withdraw. You can get nervous and clam up a bit every time you're faced with that challenge. And in turn you all your fears are realised as you inevitably end up being pretty rubbish at the thing you were worried about. A bit of a vicious circle.

It seems that unless you use the nerves to drive you to be better, to pray hard, to engage and work hard, you're very much on the back-foot, on the losing end of the spectrum. In certain areas of my life I definitely have to switch off my brain, silence all those thoughts, and just get on with things.

But on a positive note, it does make you Weak Enough for God to Use.

Blood, Sweat and Innovation

Watching the Mars Hill documentary was great. Just seeing how they were all complete amateurs and totally winging it. They pretty much just made it up as they went along. And they were really bold in the way they did everything. They worked really hard, had day jobs, and were prepared to be totally flat broke. Very inspiring, and a reminder that doing God's work isn't always easy or well paid.

One of the points that jumped out at me was Mark explaining that having very little finances required them to innovate. For example, they couldn't afford tape duplicators so they put their sermons online as mp3 downloads, and were one of the first churches to do so. They were also one of the first churches to have a website. They thought up the video campus as a way of overcoming the boundaries of time and space. And it was quite an eye-opener as to how ropey it was in the early days. They just learnt as they went along. Sometimes we're prone to not trying new ideas because it won't be that slick to begin with. But you have to try new things to get that momentum going.

Reading Up On Heaven

Reading Randy Alcorn's book on Heaven has been really interesting and insightful. You can start out slightly worried that you're becoming 'too spiritually minded to be of any earthly good' - a mildly perplexing phrase you hear bounced around the place; which I'm pretty sure is just plain wrong. The more I think about that phrase the more I am convinced the opposite is true. One can be too earthly minded to be of any spiritual good. That, I think, is by far the greater danger.

The more I think and learn about Heaven, the more I want to prepare for it. The more I contemplate how awesome the New Earth is going to be, the more willing I feel to lose my life in this one. Most of us are more than willing to endure a bit of pain and hardship if in the end there is a massive reward. What if the reward was far bigger and more amazing than you ever imagined? What if this life was, in reality, unbelievable short compared to the bigger picture?

Jesus taught us to lay up treasure in Heaven. He is into health and wealth, life, joy, peace and happiness... and many other good things we long for. He's just into the eternal sort. Everything in this life comes with a sell-by date and eventually withers away.

––––––

"Christian, meditate on heaven, it will help thee to press on, and forget the toil of the way. This vale of tears is but the pathway to the better country: this world of woe is but the stepping-stone to a world of bliss. And, after death, what cometh? What wonder-world will open upon our astonished sight?"

Charles Spurgeon.

––––––

"The man who is about to set sail for Australia or New Zealand as a settler, is naturally anxious to know something about his future home, its climate, its employment, its inhabitants, its ways, its customs. All these are subjects of deep interest to him. You are leaving the land of your nativity, you are going to spend the rest of your life in a new hemisphere. It would be strange indeed if you did not desire information about your new abode. Now surely, if we hope to dwell for ever in that "better country, even a heavenly one," we ought to seek all the knowledge we can get about it. Before we got to our eternal home we should try to become acquainted with it."

From Heaven by Randy Alcorn, page 5.
Original quote: J. C. Ryle, Heaven

The War is Daily

"The outcome of the great war is not in question. It is certain. Christ will reign victoriously forever. The only question we must answer is this: Will we fight on his side or against him? We answer this question not just once, with our words, but daily, with our choices."

Heaven, Randy Alcorn, page 105

The Martyr Rate

"Voice of the Martyrs estimates that more than 150,000 people die for Christ each year, an average of four hundred per day."

Heaven, Randy Alcorn, page 67

More Trials, More Joys

"More trials, more joys; more temptations, more triumphs; more prayers, more answers; more toils, more strength; more fights, more victories; and then come sickness, old age, disease, death. Is it over now? No! there is more yet-awakening in Jesus' likeness, thrones, harps, songs, psalms, white raiment, the face of Jesus, the society of saints, the glory of God, the fulness of eternity, the infinity of bliss. O be of good courage, believer."
Spurgeon

Tweak, Test and Re-Adjust

It occurred to me the other day that we don't always need to completely scrap and revise our efforts when something isn't quite working well enough. Often it's just a series of minor changes that together can be very effective. Like fine-tuning an engine.

I think I'm always tempted by the 'scrap-it-and-do-things-completely-differently' approach as it can offer a solution that seems the most radical. But if you get your sensible pants back on, problem solving is best because you adjust one bolt at a time. You eventually see just how influential each component is, and end up with a greater working knowledge.

Over the years I've found this to be massively true in my work as a self-employed designer, in my diet, in my personal finances, in leading a life group and probably a few other areas as well. Sometimes I need the reminder though – don't quit. Tweak, test and re-adjust.

Clinton E. Arnold On The World, The Flesh & The Devil

"It is crucial to recognize that these three influences do not work separately but in concert. It is extraordinarily difficult, if not impossible, for us to make sharp distinctions among the three in trying to understand our own personal struggles and those of other people."

Illustration and quote taken from 3 Crucial Questions about Spiritual Warfare, p35

Lessons From Clinton E. Arnold

Some great quotes and one-liners I lifted from 3 Crucial Questions about Spiritual Warfare by Clinton E. Arnold...

"The Christian life is a lifelong struggle, not a one-time fix."
p36

"The struggle is a daily affair. The wrestling event for the Christian is not over in twelve minutes or even half an hour."
p38

"This is not a time to settle down and relax. This is a time for mission and doing the work of the kingdom."
p38

"There are certain periods of time, however, when Christians face a flurry of terrible difficulties or when temptation seems to come with unusual power."
p38

"We often do not realize the extent to which naturalistic assumptions have permeated our thinking."
p30

"Very little of what we do is disconnected from how we think."
p66

"Eternal life is just as much a present experience as a future aspiration (cf. John 17:3)."
p21

"Spiritual warfare is an integral part of the entire Christian experience. It is a fact of life. To think that a Christian could avoid spiritual warfare is like imagining that a gardener could avoid dealing with weeds."
p19

Try, Try, Try Again

I once read a No Fear poster that said "You miss 100% of the shots you never take". Trouble is, most of us don't set ourselves a goal. We don't know where we're running and we've got nothing to shoot at. It can feel a little unproductive.

A goal has to be clearly defined. You've got to mark it out exactly and play towards it. It pretty much applies to everything in your life that your life that you want to be fruitful in: generous giving, bible reading, daily prayer, dating your wife, health and fitness, leading a life group, earning a living... on and on. You've got to mark out your goal and track your progress.

If you take the picture further, most of the excitement games like football isn't found in the goals themselves. There might only be two or three in 90 minutes. It's in all the action leading up to them: the passing, the tackling, the shots from 40 yards that ricochet off the post. It can all be really exciting. And I guess it's the same in life. You don't always succeed on your first attempt. But it's exciting seeing how close you came. You try, try, try again until that ball is in the back of the net.

When Sex Leaves the Marriage

I read an interesting article by this title on the New York Times website, posted by Mark Driscoll on Facebook. It painted a picture of sex tending to fizzle out after marriage. One statistic stated "it's estimated that about 15 percent of married couples had not had sex with their spouse in the last six months to one year."

I noticed one random comment place on Facebook which I thought was very insightful:

"The devil does everything he can to get you to have sex before marriage, and everything he can to keep you from having sex after you're married."

Pain, Suffering and Sanctification (Part 2)

Very apt and made me laugh:

"Sanctification is a dirt path that lasts until God kills you."

Matt Chandler, 'What Are We Doing Here?', preached 31/10/2010.

Pain, Suffering and Sanctification

Nothing exposes your heart like pain and suffering. When you hit it, your heart is totally exposed. All the things you never realised were there are suddenly revealed. It's a very scary and sobering thing. I would guess that one of the reasons God allows pain and suffering is sanctification. It also forces you in one of two directions: anger against God, or throwing yourself into His arms. I would also guess this is one of the ways he sorts the sheep from the goats, how he brings people to salvation or forces them away.

Pain and suffering are necessary. Nobody looks for a saviour if they don't believe they need saving. Nothing reminds you of your need for salvation like pain, suffering and the presence of evil.

In all of this it's good to remind ourselves that God is totally good, and it's Satan that is evil. Like in the book of Job, God permits suffering, but it's Satan that causes it. And he can only go as far as God allows.

Expendable (Part 2)

Following on from a previous note on being expendable for Christ (link) often, it's not our physical life that is required (i.e. martyrdom), but various little portions of our daily life. Finances, work, comfort, hobbies, fitness, luxuries, time... all of these need to be labeled 'expendable'. We give them up as and when required for the cause of Christ.